Make Your Goals Count
Make Your Goals Count
I remember watching Andre Agassi playing tennis at various international tournaments over the years and being mesmerized by the focus he applied during his games. It wasn’t just one single game where he did this, it was every single game I saw him play. There was fierce determination and an absolute consistency with his actions in achieving his goal, which was to win the match. I read that Andre Agassi would, as part of his ‘training’, play every match in his head, countless times, before he ever stepped onto the court. He would run the game, rerun it, and correct certain aspects over and over. He had already imagined his future self – the player that wins the match. He was watching a movie in his mind, where he was the star and he had all the associations and feelings that went with playing the game and winning the match. All of this was done long before he stepped onto the court and this, along with all his other training requirements and rituals, worked for him for a long time.
We often look at professional sportspeople or performing artists and the ones who are really good (in our opinion) the ones who achieve their goals, we think they are ‘amazing’! Sometimes we think they are a higher species or are equipped with superpowers that enable them to do what they do. But, when you bring it all back to earth, they are all just very clear on what their goals are, they are fully committed and connected to their goals and, they DO THE WORK!
Photo by Joshua Hoehne on Unsplash
What stops us from achieving our goals?
There can be many factors that prevent us from achieving our goals. It was Napoleon Hill who stated, “Desire is the starting point of all achievement, not a hope, not a wish, but a keen pulsating desire which transcends everything”. If you think about the goals you haven’t achieved, did you ever have a ‘keen pulsating desire which transcended everything’ toward that goal? When I look back on some of the goals I haven’t achieved, I know there is an element of not ‘committing’ fully to the goal. Maybe it was more of a hope or a wish as opposed to being a real priority. It was Robert Brault who said, “We are kept from our goal, not by obstacles, but by a clear path to a lesser goal.” How many times have you had a goal that, in your head, was a priority, but you did all those other smaller tasks or goals instead? We often know this is a form of procrastination and yet we have all probably employed this strategy more than once.
There is a commitment required for us to achieve our goals, but I also believe there is a ‘connection’ piece. We need to be fully connected to our goals, from the inside, for us to believe we can achieve them – even if the goals seem outrageous when we set them. This is something Andre Agassi did very well. He was fully connected to his goal of winning the match, he had rehearsed it multiple times before doing it for ‘real’. He had spent the time ‘doing the work’ required for him to win.
So, we have this idea of needing to be fully committed and connected to our goals and if we aren’t, then it’s probably not surprising we aren’t achieving the things that we want.
Photo by William Iven on Unsplash
Commitment to Action
This might sound a bit obvious but how many times have we seen others (those others include ourselves) with well-planned goals but taking action seems to be the hardest part? In fact, for some of us, we never get to take the actions we need to take. There can be all sorts of reasons as to why we don’t take the steps we need to, but what seems to be a common theme for people is fear. Fear of failure or fear of rejection. Tony Robbins often talks about these two reasons for fear and one of the things we can do is embrace the belief that there is no such thing as failure – just feedback. In other words, every situation gives us the opportunity to learn something new and figure out the best way forward. I also think that there is a third fear we have. The fear of disappointing others and therefore disappointing ourselves. This can conjure up feelings of shame or being unworthy and can take us on a downward spiral impacting our confidence and self-esteem.
Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash
Connecting to our goals
The second component is our ability to fully connect with our goals. In the Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) world, we apply the concept of well-formed outcomes. This is a process we apply to outcomes we are wanting to achieve, to ensure we are fully connected with the outcome and the outcome will truly serve us and provide us with more choice. I have developed the HONEST goal process which is a way of running your SMART goals through an additional process to ensure they will work for you in all areas of your life and you can really connect to them. Here’s a summary of HONEST goals:
Holistic – Does my goal serve every part of my life? Will it negatively impact any part of my life? Know this and decide if you will continue.
Own it! – Is this goal something I really want. Am I prepared to make it a priority over lesser goals?
Needs-based – Does this goal serve a need that I have, will it help me become my future-self?
Exciting – Does this goal excite me? And maybe scare me, just a little!
Serves others – Will this goal help me serve others? Does it connect me with something bigger than myself?
Transformative – Will the outcome of this goal be something truly amazing for me and others.
The Goal Grid
If we look at the Goal Grid below, we can see the stages we may go through as we firm up our commitment and connection to our goals.
Let’s unpack this information a bit more. The Goal Grid is a way for us to identify where we might be in relation to a goal. All the quadrants are a required step in goal setting. Apart from the ‘Achiever’ quadrant, the other quadrants could be viewed as forms of procrastination if we hang out in them too long, so let’s take a look at each one.
The TALKER quadrant is the person who talks, A LOT, about their goals but never acts. It is important for us to talk about our goals early on as this can spark some desire, however, there is a saying ‘action precedes clarity’ so we need to identify one thing we can do today, to move us closer to our goal.
The DREAMER quadrant is the person who speaks about their goals with a lot of passion, but for some reason, they are still not acting and are seriously running the risk of slipping back into the Talker quadrant. Again, it is useful for us to spend time in this quadrant so we can fully connect with our goal. Visualise it the way Andre Agassi did but we have to move from dreaming about our goals to getting out there and doing the work!
The PLANNER quadrant is the person who has thoroughly planned out their goals, maybe they have used the SMART goal process or something similar. Often the action taken in this quadrant is more around planning the goal than achieving the goal itself – picture lots of things on paper but no real action being taken. Again, we want to write our goals down so we can review them, but the goal is not the plan, the goal is the goal. Do the work!
The ACHIEVER quadrant is where we all want to be. Achievers are fully connected and committed to their goals. They are acting regularly and will adjust their actions based on the feedback they are getting. They are consistently moving forward to achieve their outcome.
Being fully connected to and achieving your goals is like being in the movie instead of just watching it, or like being the character in the book, not just reading about them.
Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash
Tips to fully commit and connect with your goals
So, the big questions are:
what do I have to do to ensure I have a high commitment to action towards my goals?
what do I have to do to fully connect with my goals?
Here a few of my favourite tips to shift the dial on your goals for this year:
Ensure the goal you want to achieve fits in with the rest of your life and won’t unintentionally compete in another part of your life which could cause you some dis-ease. Plan your goals in a holistic way. Think of your life more like a pizza (it’s about balance, if you focus more in one area, other areas may be a bit ‘smaller’ for a while, so make sure that sits well with you) and not a row of buckets where you just keep adding a new bucket every time you want to do something new (at its extreme this looks like overwhelm and burnout).
Make sure the goal you are after is important to you and not just something you think you might like to have, be, do. Ask yourself, am I really prepared to spend time, money, and effort on achieving this goal? Will it be a priority for me?
Use SMART (or something similar) to plan the logistics of your goal (Specific; Measurable; Achievable; Relevant/Realistic; Time-bound). This gives you a good tactical plan for stating your goals. Then, make sure you review your goals on a regular basis.
Use a process that enables you to connect with your goals from the inside-out. The HONEST goal process works well for this and will help get goals to the status of ‘I must do this’.
Take daily action – it doesn’t have to be huge but what is one thing you can do today to help you move toward your goals. A great read in this space is Brian Tracey’s – Eat That Frog.
Have an accountability partner – someone who will support you and keep you on track when it comes to achieving your goals.
Key Questions To Ask Yourself
Can you identify where you might be on the Goal Grid in relation to your current goals?
If you’re not in the Achiever Quadrant, why do you think that might be? Is the goal important enough? Do you have a plan? Are you totally connected and committed to your goal? What’s preventing you from taking action?
I love setting and achieving goals and I’d be keen to hear what you have discovered and what you have done to move forward with your goals.
If you need some assistance or are looking for an accountability partner, let’s chat so we can see what that might look like.